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cos'I needa
elucidate
this floating cloud
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cos'I needa
elucidate
this floating cloud
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 I love this music. |
 wenying says hi
Optimist, sunshine, nature, apples, clouds, animals, walking, being me, air-rifle, sketching, music, laughing with friends, reading, living each day to the fullest
'On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux. |
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 Thursday, December 30, 2010 @ 12:04 AMdad
I'm utterly disappointed. disappointed in me. disappointed in my parents. Currently, i'm in a messy, ugly, irritating state. I'm an irate person now. The hives has come to me and is causing me much un-happyness. however, it is not the itch nor the condition itself that caused it. but, rather my dear papa. i can't stand it how everything that goes unruly gets linked to: shooting my club my friends not studying always going out having fun all the time wasting money wasting time having to spend time on better thing else not spending time with the family me and ending up looking at his 'disappointed' face. Oh god! I FEEL EXTREMELY TORMENTED. extremely!!!!! i totally feel like crying right now actually i am. coach wants me to get a new glove which i think i should too. however i believe in my dad's eye, it is EXPENSIVE. USELESS. and what's its help in my ACADEMIC??!? it would just lead me to TRAIN MORE!!! (which is not what he wants) omg i cannot stand it anymore. this is totally stupid. i want to cry already. i hate you. and i love you. i dont want to disappoint you. i try to make you and mummy proud. i do my best in everything (or at least i try to, without regrets) I thank mummy for believing in me so much. but sometimes i just cannot sense your support in the right way, at the right time. sometimes i think i might be much better off if i could live on my own, with space and endless supply of money. without any, any of you, i would face my own problems. i would handle it on my own. i dont need to worry any of you. i dont need to see your face. just deal with it, alone. all by myself. so i need not listen to your rants that make me an even more complicated person that increases the confusion within making my own choices im totally upset saying all these stuff. im not wishing for it to happen lest it did. i just dont want to tell anyone about it. bye.
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