sometimes i'm just caught in between what my thoughts say, and what my actions do.

what you think is what you get? (not exactly here)

what you do says about what you think? (not exactly here, or i just don't know)

sometimes i'm influenced to not believe in you.

yet i still want to. and to trust you.

sometimes i just am unsure if i should heed the experienced, or following what my instincts say.

the old horse knows the way.. but ways* are ever changing and you can always divert your path in order to get to the end point! probably one is safer from risks, the other might be filled with challenges and emotions. but i'm uncertain what i should take, or whether i'll enjoy either of both.

sometimes i rely on timing.

constantly considering myself to be in a very, very important phase of my life at this point of time and probably up to a few years from now. all of them are important, and i really cannot afford to screw them up. living my life to the fullest and achieving my dreams...

is it ever possible to achieve two at a time? or be steady at one?

sometimes i just don't understand myself.

if i don't quite understand myself, what i'm doing, how others will interpret of my actions.

then, how can i get others to understand me. what a dilemma, am i?

i'm just pretty confused.

i think i'm happy.

yet another moment i think i'm disappointed.

then i think i'm just doing it in order to please.

then i think... i think...

and it comes back to the loop of mixed emotions.

just like a swinging pendulum. :(

maybe this crazyness will stop when everything stops.

will it stop? um....

im still freefalling.

Yah.

Read: http://taxidiary.blogspot.com/2009/04/preface.html