Optimist, sunshine, nature, apples, clouds, animals, walking, being me, air-rifle, sketching, music, laughing with friends, reading, living each day to the fullest
'On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.

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Recently I've been out with my friends, different groups of friends - really close friends, friend of friend, recently-warmed-up project group mates...

I'm really glad for what they have told me. Mostly, its about being true to my goals, dreams, to go forth and pursue it... It doesn't matter what my mother thinks, my family thinks. But its my life, and it matters what I think about it and I live it once.

Its amazing why recent conversations with my friends have been like 'steered' in this direction... when I have no conscious intention to discuss this.


I was really pondering about it when I'm on my way home taking the train. A few things came into my mind..

"There's a light at the end of the tunnel." Ok, yes it is true but,
There's also a light at the beginning of the tunnel too. I think we forget about this often, or neglect its existence. That's when you decide to enter and to challenge yourself to explore this unventured darkness. Its like getting a 'goal' or a motivation to enter it. Then, at the end of the tunnel when you are totally exhausted you want to feel enlightened and hopeful that finally, there is a way out!

As I stood at the last carriage, I could see the train distancing from the platform. I felt a sense of longing for that light as we dwelved into that unilluminated tunnel. Then when the tracks are completely pitch-black, I felt sad again. But when we came toward the next station, there's light again. A sense of relief.

Imagine if life was something like that... we wouldn't have felt relief if we didn't feel that sense of longing or sadness. Relief is a great feeling I think. If life was all illuminated, all the tunnels were bright, open, you know what's in front of you, what to anticipate. it might not be exciting, satisfying, or as purposeful as it might have been. Hence, acknowledge these troubles, these challenges and difficulties which is already part of life. To see it in a good way, it would make it seem much more flavourful than if you didn't have sour experiences.

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Lastly, I would have to think about growing up understand and to play The Game.

My friend gave me his honest opinion twice, that I am a very simple innocent person. Ok, I take that as a compliment but there's also a downside to it - people might easily take advantage of you.

Ok, acknowledged. Present thoughts. I think only if you are stupid enough to let people take advantage of you, will they actually take advantage of you. I hope that when that time comes, I will not be stupid.

Second thoughts. I think people have different degrees of feeling 'taken advantaged of'. Ok, maybe I have a low threshold of feeling that way.. But in my opinion a win-lose situation might be okay? depending on what losing is about, and how much it matters to you. Presently, its ok being taken advantaged of, but not in That Way, as long as it does not compromise my principles and values. That's fine with me.  People might change in future anyway.

I choose to treat others genuinely, because I really hate to fake, dislike fake people around me, I suck at telling lies because it makes me feel miserable. So, there's so much good about being a sincere person!!!! :) Be true to yourself and to people around you. And when people are nice to me, I don't perceive it as me taking advantage of them, not necessarily part of a 'transaction'... but part of giving or helping, or just karma.

Again, im speaking in a simple naive innocent self-point of view. ok.

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